The Castle
by Moonphase
Summary: A.U.- L is a man with no past and no planned future; all he knows is that he needs to get into the Castle of Kira. However, there is something more strange and bizzare and sinister going on that is affecting his goal. Starring L. Co-starring Matsuda, Misa and Light. Appearances from other DN characters.
1. Arrival

**This is a story partially inspired by a strange little novel I read called _The Castle_ by a man called Kafka. The other thing that partially inspired it was all the snow outside. I'm currently trapped in my house. Luckily I have copious amounts of hot chocolate and oats.**

**Please review if you can.**

* * *

"No, if one takes it by and large, I have no right to complain that I am alone and have nobody that I can trust. I certainly lose nothing by that and probably spare myself trouble. I can only trust myself and my burrow."  
The Burrow

* * *

And so L arrived in the Kingdom of Snow. He looked over the sparse, white arena. It was impossible to tell where the sky met the earth; such was the lands uniformity. The only interruptions into the white eternity were the scattered black houses and trees that made up a village of sorts. Beyond that, in the distance, was Lawliets goal.

Lawliet was not that sure about his past. He certainly did not know how he had reached the present. He did know that he did have a past and, should he think hard enough, little snippets of it would come back to him. More so however, he found that he only remembered when he needed to remember. When it was conducive for the present. How he knew this was uncertain himself, but he did. He was certain he did have a past; how could he not? Everyone he had ever met on his journey so far had a past, which means he must do as well. However, none of that mattered. He had a goal. He had a future. And the Castle was it.

It seemed that in order to reclaim his past, he would have to move forward and complete his goal. All he knew was his name and that he needed to get to the Castle of Kira.

Ignoring the bitter cold wind that blew up into his face, the dark haired man marched down into the snow-filled valley towards the black village. As he walked resolutely through, grateful that the snow was trodden down and easier to walk on here, he did not see a single person on the street. He knew that they were inside the houses because they were drawing their curtains as he passed by. It seemed they were unfriendly. But that was the same anywhere. L trusted and liked no one. Or at least, that's what he remembered about himself. L was always very sure on matters about himself and his views on others. It seemed, by what he knew and understood, that others were the same as him; distrusting and uncertain of anything or anyone new, only, unlike him, they did trust what they did know and who they knew. L knew no one. It was lonely, being L.

Or he assumed he was lonely.

Not remembering being any other way, it was hard to tell as there was nothing to base it on.

And this sort of pointless, circular reasoning was a good reason as to why he didn't question himself too much.

Finally he saw a large pub up ahead, with a sign post above it showing a poor, chipped painting of a shiny red apple, and a black note book. The fires inside reflected out into the snow a warm, golden glow. He could hear conversation and laughter inside. L dearly wanted friendship; he was lonely, he was sure he was. He did not know who he was, or who his family were. He used to wonder a lot about friendship, wishing fervently that he had someone who understood him. He used to wonder if anyone missed him; was anyone looking for him? He had a sinking feeling that no one was. However these thoughts used to get him so depressed that he decided it was illogical to keep thinking of them. Instead, it was better to focus on getting to the Castle of Kira. All he needed to do was attain that goal, and things would be better, of that he was certain.

He was a little uncertain of going into the pub. Even though it would be warm, it would be full of people he did not know. They would not want to be his friend, most likely. He had an idea that he was a little odd, and this put people off. He wondered if maybe it was because he had no past.

Still, he needed information about the castle. He hoped it was the castle he had been after all this time.

Stepping inside, the festive atmosphere immediately died with his arrival. People peered at him curiously. He stared back at them himself. What was going on? All of them were wearing summer clothes; things like shorts and t-shirts, sandals, flip-flops and baseball caps. He felt strange, wearing all of his winter furs and high boots. Spotting a chair and its accompanying table in a solitary corner, he went to it and crouched on the seat.

"Can I help you?"

He looked up to see the archetypal buxom maid. Well, her chest was well endowed, though the rest of her was quite slim. Her eyes were bright blue, and her flaxen hair was pulled into a long French braid.

"I want to know about the Castle."

Her eyes widened in surprise. She looked around at the other patrons; they were all glumly shaking their heads and shrugging.

"No one asks about the Castle." She replied with an affronted tone. "Why should we know about the Castle? No one knows about the Castle. There is the castle and then there is us. That is all."

"So, no one goes to the Castle?"

"None of us do. We are not...Castle people."

"Is it a bad place?"

"It isn't our place."

"Right, alright, I see." Lawliet felt a pressure behind his eyes. He often got that when speaking to stupid people. It, unfortunately, happened quite a lot as a result.

"Well, I need to get to the Castle. I'm trying to get to the Castle of Kira. How do I get there?"

The Barmaid shrugged, and the front doors opened making a cold gust of icy wind blow in and remind them of the grim outdoors.

"Well, does the Castle rule this land?" He pushed.

"Do you want a drink?" She asked with a frustrated tone. "We have ice tea and various fruit juices..." she trailed off, conspicuously eyeing him up and down.

"Why are you all dressed as if it Summer?" He asked, as questioning her about the Castle seemed to push her sentiments too far. "It's cold outside. There's snow everywhere."

She stared so hard he thought those blue eyes (too blue, he thought, they must be fake) might fall right out of the sockets. A few people around who had been listening in began to laugh at him.

"You must be crazy," she whispered, backing away slightly. Then she rolled her eyes. "Well of course you're crazy, look at you! It's summer! It is Summer! It's always Summer here." She smiled, "all thanks to our illustrious god who cares for us, we get good crops and a lovely summer all the time."

"How can you have good crops, nothing grows here." Lawliet was obstinate. "I am not crazy. I would have noticed if my mind was beginning to malfunction in any way. It's my most important asset. It should be everybody's." He looked at the table moodily before glancing at her. She sneered at him and walked away. He wondered if he should leave. He did not belong here and they did not like him. Besides, he hadn't ordered anything.

xxXXxx

Lawliet, stuck in his own downward thoughts, jumped ever so slightly as a warm mug of hot chocolate was dumped in front of him. He looked up to see the same blonde, buxom barmaid. He still couldn't get used to her wearing summer clothes. It seemed absurd, especially given to how cold he was.

Her face still had the expression that he repulsed her in return, but he was, after walking for a long, undetermined time in the snow, very grateful for the drink. He blessed her with a small smile and began to sip it. She watched him for a little while, fascinated, despite herself.

"Are you not going to ask me what my name is?" She sat opposite him and leaned on her arms. He wondered if she should be working right now, not chatting to him. He would have said so but decided within a split second that perhaps that would not be a great idea. She might, for some reason, think he was being rude as opposed to asking a legitimate question. Plus, this way, he could perhaps get her, eventually to talk of the Castle.

"What is your name?" He queried, thinking of turning it into a game. "Cassie, Louise, Joanne?"

She laughed in a strange tinkling manner. Lawliet failed to see what he had said that was funny, so sat very still and waited for her to regain control.

"No, my name is Misa. I own this entire pub. I am very clever. More than people think."

He nodded in agreement. "You are a business women."

"That's right. And because it's always summer here, I do very well in getting clientele. Thank god!"

He looked around. There were a few people scattered about, but it was hardly bustling. In fact, it was probably because it was so quiet that she to sit, talking to him, someone she did not even like, instead of working.

"I see." He looked at her and she flinched slightly at his gaze, before plastering on a fake smile. People didn't like it when he focused his gaze upon them. He was not sure why. Then he remembered who she had just thanked for her supposed good fortune."Madam Misa, who is god?"

The reaction from the pub was immediate and in Lawliets view, a little over dramatic. Everyone in the pub halted any pretence of not listening in and stared at him openly, their expression aghast. One young man wearing a tasteless Hawaii suit ran out of the pub itself wailing.

"You don't know who god is!" She gaped before looking at the horrified faces of her punters and whispering in a snake like hiss, "at the rate you're going you will be beaten and possibly _killed_ when you leave this pub. What is wrong with you? First coming to us in these clothes, saying strange things and now this about our god? This is blasphemy that you speak! How can you not know who god is?"

His long hair and big woolly hat covered his affronted frown. "I am not from this land." He announced loudly enough for them all to here. They were being stupid. "I don't know your god. Everywhere has a different god. I learn about a new one each time." Suddenly he felt very tired.

"Huh, really?" She sat back, her voice back to its normal pitch and a look on her face as if someone had put faeces under her nose. "How disgusting. I had heard such things but did not want to believe they were true. That is why I will always stay here, where it is safe, happy, clean and warm. Praises to Kira! The source of our Light and Life."

The whole pub raised their glasses and repeated her last sentence in a strange, cult like fervour, "The source of our Light and Life!"

"Follow me, strange man," she smiled and looked at him conspiratorially. He noticed she hadn't yet asked for his name, even though she had been offended when he had not asked for hers. For some reason, though, this made him feel a bit better. With people, he found, it made him feel a bit safer to keep secrets. There were always things that he did not know about them. And there were things he did not know about himself. It only seemed fair that he got to have a few secrets as well.

She took him round the bar and into the back. In a small room full of kitschy ornaments, cute teddy bears and fluffy things, all testament to her bad taste, was an ornate shrine on the wall.

There was a picture of a golden sun, with a particularly long beam, like the stem of a plant, stretching beneath it and connecting it to a picture of the earth; sort of like a sceptre. Around it was decorations of moons, stars, little sun and several skulls. Glitter and tinsel were wrapped around the sides as a sort of border. At the bottom of the suns stem wooden flowers, the paint aged and cracked, lay about it.

He pointed to them, seeing a way to explain to Misa that summer was not in this place. "Those petals are wooden. Have you not noticed that there are no real ones? It's because of the snow. There is snow because it is winter."

"There are flowers everywhere!" She gasped. "How can you be so blind? You poor, poor creature. It is thanks to Kira," she motioned to the idol, "that we live and breathe. And He loves us so much that we get to do so in safety. There is no wrong doing in our land. We are pure."

"Pure like un-driven snow...?"

"Exactly." She looked at him for a moment before pulling off his hat and sliding her hand through his thick black hair and down his face in a manner befitting a mother. "Oh don't you want to come out into the sun and summer at last? Don't you want to bloom like a flower?"

He grasped her hand. He had shuddered the moment she had touched his face. "But you are cold Misa! You are cold."

But she only stared at him, shaking her head in disbelief.


	2. Surfacing

"Keeping his eyes fixed upon the Castle, K. went ahead, nothing else mattered to him. But as he came closer he was disappointed in the Castle, it was only a rather miserable little tower pieced together from village houses, distinctive only because everything was perhaps built out of stone, but the paint had long since flaked off, and the stone seemed to be crumbling."

_The Castle_

* * *

L left the pub shortly after that, feeling strange. He had never really witnessed religious mania before. He had found the whole thing very disconcerting. He was surely in a village of lunatics! Summer indeed!

He looked about at two children wandering the snowy roads in shorts and t-shorts and flip flops. They looked half dead with cold.

"_The death rate must be appalling here..."_as if hearing his thoughts he suddenly came past what may have once been the local church or temple, a small ruin of a building _("well they aren't Shinto or Christian or any other religion I know of anymore..."_ he thought eyeing all the crushed religious relics scattered upon the ground) and a huge graveyard. Considering how small the village was, the graveyards size was incredible.

"_I need to get to the castle,"_ he told himself, looking into the distance trying to make out where the Castle was. "_I just need to get there."_

It was already getting dark and the first few stars were beginning to appear. It was going to be a clear night sky, which meant a very cold night. L had hoped to be able to stay inside a Bed and Breakfast or rent a room at the pub, but now he was uncertain. It was too strange in the pub. It was too strange in the village in fact. Instead he continued to trudge through the thick snow. He would go outside of the village, set up camp for the night and just deal with the cold. He had been surviving in his little tent until now alright, he could do another night. He tried not to think of the graveyard and all the people that must have frozen to death. L wasn't a moron like the rest of them. He was dressed for the weather.

"_So many children and babies must die," _he thought, looking for a place to set up camp_. "If they think their god is so great how come he save them from dying?"_ Where should he camp? Just inside the forest, near the edges? He hoped there were no bears or boars or other dangerous animals here. He didn't have a gun. How had he lasted this long with no gun? Or maybe he did have one? Oh well, he would find out later, after he had unpacked.

A few metres ahead, a young g man stepped from behind some houses. He looked up at L and gaped before waving at some persons hidden behind the houses from which he had just came.

L recognised him as the young, dark-haired man in the hideous Hawaiian t-shirt who had run out of the pub earlier. He recalled the barmaid warning him that he would be attacked for his so-called oddness. Was the boy hailing down more people to come so that they could all attack him? He tensed, ready for battle. He was sure he could handle himself, in desperate situations...

Two men on horses appeared and, the boy leading they headed towards him. L planted his feet firmly in the ground and put on his blankest facial expression, He did not like people trying to intimidate him.

The men were wearing T-shirts and jeans more than what most the villagers were wearing, L noted. That was interesting. There these men more aware of their surroundings than the others. Was there a chance they were somewhat more intelligent, giving L a foothold? They still were clearly very cold, even while wearing jeans. Their hands were stiff on the reigns of the horses. Their fingertips were slightly blue.

"You there," one barked, "what is your name and why are you here?"

"My name is L." He responded looking blank and keeping his voice as monotone as possible. "And I am here because I need to get to the Castle."

Both men looked at him like he was mad. The one who had shouted looked down at the boy who had led them there and the boy looked up as if to say _'see? I told you he was mad man!_'

"No one goes to the Castle, you fool!" The man pulled off his horse and started towards L. "Only Castle People go to the Castle-!"

L was getting tired of this.

"Who are you exactly?" He queried, rudely interrupting the man's tirade. The man glowered at him, as if unable to believe his audacity. L raised an eyebrow, it was hardly that big a deal. He didn't understand how this man thought it was ok to yell at him, but thought it was not ok for him to respond back calmly (albeit in the middle of his rant.) Manners and social niceties made no sense. L made a point of ignoring them as much as possible.

"I am Aizawa. This," he nodded to his silent comrade who was still upon his horse, "is Mogi." He stood a little straighter. "We are Officials. We work under the Council who in turn work for the Castle. Everything and everyone in this village has a place." Aizawa sneered at him. "And this is why you are a problem. You have no place. You do not belong. You need to leave."

L tried to ignore the anger bubbling up in his chest. "I can't leave," he reiterated. "I need to get to the Castle! It's imperative I get there."

"Why? No one has asked or called for you?"

"It just is."

"That's not a real answer!" Aizawa was becoming furious, "give a real reason! You act strangely, are a foreigner and obviously think and talk differently to us. So we need to at least understand you r reason."

But for L he knew that he simply needed to get there. That _was_ the reason.

He told Aizawa so and the man threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Maybe," the young man who had reported L suddenly spoke up, everyone stared at him and he blushed under their scrutiny. "Maybe we should take him to the Chief of the Council. He'll know what to do, he always does!"

And that's when Aizawa arrested L.

xxXXxx

"_Well at least it's warmer in here," _thought L insolently. He was holed up in a small, dark cell. He was also alone. Then guards had left to collect the Chief of Council, whoever the hell that was.

"_No doubt some other idiot who think he's in the Caribbean. Something is terribly wrong here, for everyone to be under a mass delusion, it certainly isn't me who's mad." _He breathed out and saw his breath floating up and out in a misty fog, _"definitely not me. It is freezing here." _

He looked around the cell and saw various engraving etched into the stone wall. Most of them were curses and swear words, some were praises for their illustrious sun-god and praying for his mercy, a number were stick men fornicating with one another.

"_Oh dear, is that what will happen to me? Well no one else is here, so I'm sure I won't be raped tonight at least."_

But then just as he was about to turn away he saw something written on the bottom of the cell:

'The king has gone mad!' it screamed, 'oh great spirit help us all, the king has gone mad! And so will all of us!'

He got to his knees and leaned in closer; the writing seemed familiar somehow, as did the sentiment, what did it all mean?

Suddenly he heard marching feet and doors being flung open. He got to his feet just in time to see Mogi and Aizawa arrive with an older man sporting a moustache.

"I am the Chief of Council," the older man stated, "my name is Soichiro Yagami and I would like to know why you are here and where you came from."

"My name is L." He answered, not wanting to give his full name. "I need to get to the castle, please take me there."

"No one goes to the castle," said Soichiro, "we are not castle people. You have not answered all my questions. Until every question has been answered, typed up in a report and sent to the castle for the castle officials to read, you will not be leaving this cell."

"I can't quite remember everything," said L, "I am from very far away. I travelled for a long time to get here. I need to get into the castle of Kira. That is my role. Let me speak to the castle people, let them here my case."

"Everything has to be done properly, with the right papers and permits. You are just one small man. A stranger even. You don't get to go anywhere or demand who you get to speak to. It's not the way things are done here." Soichiro turned to Mogi and Aizawa, "I shall write up my report tonight to have Mr. L either ejected from the village entirely, or for him to have some sort of role. We cannot have some mad man just saying and doing what he wants."

"Very good sir," the two men saluted before following Soichiro out of the cell and leaving L alone once more. He wanted to bend down and read the panicked statement on the wall once again, but it was too dark. So instead, cold and hungry, Lawliet climbed onto his bed, wrapped the thing sheet around his body and fell into a fitful, shivering sleep.


	3. Memory

"'Surely you aren't afraid—those who are ignorant naturally consider everything possible...'

The Castle

Lawliet was startled into wakefulness the next morning by a loud clanging and rattling outside of his cell door. Looking through the bars with bleary eyes he saw the man who had sold him out the night before wearing another hideous shirt and cleaning the outside of his cell as loudly as possible; he had a mop bucket and mop which he fell over as he tried to balance on a stool to reach a window he was wiping.

Crashing down to the floor and banging the bucket so that filthy water ran across the corridor and into L's cell, the boy looked up at L with pretty wide eyes showing through messy black bangs.

"Hello," said L.

"Hello," answered the boy. He got to his feet and limped painfully over to L's cell. "How are you? I'm sorry that were locked up but you're quite insane, I was just doing my duty by reporting you."

"You think I'm insane?"

"Of course!" grinned the boy, "you don't even know who god is! By the way, my name is Matsuda, pleased to meet you. I hope you regain your sense and come worship the great sun god Kira with us. He's totally amazing."

"Do you ever see your god?"

"Nope, but we know he is good and great and very beautiful."

"How do you know he's even real if you've never seen him?"

Matsuda laughed heartily then before shaking his head sadly and patting L's arm in a condescending manner, "you don't see the wind, but you know it's there."

"Yes because I can see its affects. How can you know your god is beautiful and good and great, there's no evidence of such."

"There is. Our land is beautiful and full of great things."

"It's covered in snow and all your people are dying. I saw the graveyards. They are over flowing. You all must be freezing but you keep telling yourselves that you're not because you must think it would be blasphemy, but it isn't blasphemy to speak the truth, you are all cold an dying."

Matsuda pulled a slightly strange face, sort of a cross between a sneer and a frown, but he said nothing.

"Do you know anything about the castle?" L decided to change track, "I need to get there; it's imperative."

"No one goes there," said the boy awkwardly, looking embarrassed and glancing to the door to leave.

"But if I go, your god may be in there. Your god is called Kira and the castle is the castle of Kira, so maybe he lives there. If I go in and see him I could come back and tell you if all the stories are true." Lawliet paused before adding, "Maybe you could even come with me."

"I don't know, only-"

"Only castle people go into and are in the castle, yes, yes, I know all of that already. But still, I don't see any of these castle people and I think it will be a long time before that report of whatever the chief wants to do gets sent off and read by anybody. Tell me, has anyone tried to get into the castle before?"

"Not that I can remember," mused Matsuda, "but to be honest I don't have a good memory. Sometimes I can't even remember what happened last week never mind things from ages ago."

"Never mind that now, I can hear your superiors coming."

Matsuda cocked his head to hear that l was right, there were the tell-tale sound of feet marching on tiled floors. He began to mop up the sopping mess he had caused just before Aizawa marched into the room.

"Good god Matsuda!" he cried after nearly slipping on the floor, "what have you done? Why is the floor so wet?"

"Sorry sir," muttered Matsuda, keeping his head down; he felt guilty for speaking to Lawliet and having the man plant strange thoughts into his head.

"We sent off our report last night," Aizawa said, "but we think it got lost at some point because the officials at the castle are saying they never received it. So we will send it again. In the meantime you need to have a job; no one does nothing in this town. Therefore we want you to fill out this very important form before we put you in your new job." He thrust some papers through the bars and into L's face. He reached out and scanned through them.

"Caretaker?" he muttered before looking up at Aizawa, "you want me to be a caretaker at some countryside school? I am much better than that!"

"A caretaker is a fine profession!" yelled Aizawa, "don't look down your nose at people, at least they are working, while you rot away in prison as a mad man. You will do this job and be damned grateful for it! As a caretaker you will sleep in one of the classrooms after the students are gone. You are to clean up the grounds during the day, you are not to talk to students or staff members, unless a staff member speaks to you first. Everything is there that you need. You need to sign out that form to prove you are not a child molester, which we will analyse afterwards. You have your contract which needs signing in many places. Then you also need to answer the exam to see how much you know about caretaking and therefore will affect your pay. You also have another sheet to fill out agreeing that you will come to this prison every night so that we will know what you've been doing throughout the day and not getting up to mischief. Then-"

"Oh god, enough already!" cried L, "how much nonsense do I have to do and write? I don't even want this stupid job, nor do I want to be in this mad village, I just need to get into the castle!"

"Then," repeated Aizawa heavily, ignoring Lawliet, "you need to sign an agreement that you will not be going about telling our villagers lies and blaspheming against our god. Then finally you have a sheet with a list of all these things and you will need to tick off each one saying that you have signed and filled out everything properly. Is that understood?"

Lawliet nodded messily, glancing over at Matsuda. But the boy looked away quickly- still Lawliet was glad that he seemed to have spotted an interesting expression on Matsuda's face before he turned away. Maybe he would have at least one ally in this strange new world.

xxXXxx

The first day at the school was pretty awful. He had to wear a dreadful grey jumpsuit and some heavy duty boots with thin socks. By lunchtime he's feet were pretty much frozen. The children, who were all between the ages of seven to thirteen, were not allowed to speak to him but instead cast him strange curious and frightened glances whenever their teacher, a gruesome woman called Miss Takada, wasn't looking at them. There were only around thirty children in the school all together, so there wasn't much mess. Plus, as he seemed to scare them so much, they didn't leave much rubbish around as they didn't want to invite him over. He didn't resent them staring at him and being afraid of him, he felt too sorry for them, watching them wearing the thin cotton school uniforms and shivering over their textbooks whilst pretending to be happy and warm. It was very sad to see.

After a cold down of sweeping and cleaning, he went straight over to the police station to get his mark. Then he had decided, in a moment of rebelliousness, to try to walk to the castle. All that happened was that he kept on walking, but never seemed to get any closer to the castle. It was as if there was some sort of enchantment on the roads that didn't allow him to ever arrive at his destination. Plus, Aizawa then caught him (somehow) and dragged him back into the prison cell to freeze and hunger for another night.

By the next morning, Lawliet felt properly chastened enough to not want to escape to the castle that night. Instead he went about his day as a caretaker, and that evening, after getting his mark at the station and being glared at by Mogi and Aizawa, he took his freezing body over to Misa's Pub for some warm food and a hot drink.

People didn't stare at him in the pub. He was probably being quietly accepted now that he had a role in the village as the eccentric school caretaker. He sat down heavily and sighed, his toes and feet aching from cold in his heavy boots. He could barely feel his hands anymore, as he had no gloves, and now he was so cold he didn't even shake anymore. Even his blood seemed to be pumping more slowly around his veins.

"Rough day?"

He looked up to see that it was Misa who had spoken to him. He nodded blearily as she sat next to him and offered him a steaming mug of hot chocolate. He drank it eagerly and gratefully as she watched him with a bewildered expression.

"You really are cold, aren't you?" she stated rather than asked, "I can't believe it. Ws the land you originally came from very hot, is that why you can't handle the weather here, as warm as it is to us?"

"I don't have a good memory," he said after finishing the warm drink, "I can barely remember what happened last week never mind what happened ages ago." He paused, feeling like he had heard or said those words before. He shook his head, no point thinking too deeply about it. "Anyway, all I remember is arriving at this village and wanting to get to the castle of Kira."

"Maybe you're searching for god," she answered, "maybe you are on a spiritual voyage of enlightenment and truth and that's why you are so determined to get to the castle. God is everywhere, you don't need to go to the castle to find him. You don't need to suffer so much. Just become one of us, you almost are now anyway."

Lawliet shrugged, "perhaps, but I don't think that's the sort of person I am. Can I have a hot meal please? I earn some money from my job."

"It'll be on the house, as you've worked so hard today."

He nodded gratefully and she left him after giving him a hearty wink. He sat alone for a few minutes, watching the few men and women around him drinking their iced teas and licking their ice-creams that they held in blue-fingered, frozen hands.

Then, a shaggy haired youth sat opposite him and obliterated his view. Lawliet frowned and rearranged his sight so that he could see more clearly; it was Matsuda sitting parallel to him.

"I have thought about what you said," started Matsuda in a rush, "it keeps playing in my mind over and over and over. I've decided I will go with you."

"What, go where?"

"To the castle," hissed the youth, leaning in closer, "have you forgotten?"

"Oh no one goes in there," said Lawliet tiredly, "no one but castle...castle people...you know."

"Yes but, I thought you needed to go in there. Don't you need to go see Kira?"

"Kira?" repeated Lawliet slowly, his body slowly beginning to speed up along with his heart rate. He saw himself standing on a hill, over-looking the town. He remembered walking to the castle but never getting closer to it. He remembered red eyes and a handsome smile.

"Yes," he said, looking up at Matsuda, "I remember now... or at least I think I do. I need to get to the castle, no matter what. You will help me?"

"Yes," smiled Matsuda, "I am not afraid anymore. I want to see the truth. I want to discover Kira. Together, I think we can make it."

And for some reason, Lawliet believed that as well.


	4. Realisation

"Come on Matsuda!" cried L with more feeling in his voice than he had ever betrayed before, "you can do this!"

"I can't," whimpered Matsuda, "Oh dear god I can't. I'm too...I'm too cold..."

_**A couple of days previously**_

After Matsuda had left the police station he had stepped outside and noticed the air seemed a little...nippy. _"It's just from talking to that crazy man," _he told himself, _"I never should have let him ramble on like that, with his wide staring eyes and his monotone voice, he's clearly nuts and I shouldn't let him get to me."_

He took in a deep breath and looked about him. How could anyone think it was winter? The village was surrounded by long rolling hills which were covered in succulent grass that kept their cows and sheep fat and merry. The sun was beating down from the sky, warming his skin. He looked down at his arms and realised that they were quite pale. Unusual, he was naturally olive skinned due to his heritage, and considering he had been out in the sun since...well since he could first remember, surely he should be darker than ever?

"_Maybe I am ill?"_ he considered as he skipped across the road hearing his flip-flops slapping against his feet. _"No matter, kira is good and no doubt I shall get well with the warm sun on my back and good food in my belly."_

He padded over to Misa's Breakfast Bar. As usual Anthony Rester was playing the cheerful Ukulele while the adults sipped on iced teas and sun tanned and the kids ran around in circle chugging back slush puppies and causing a general ruckus.

Matsuda chuckled at the sight, before another wind blew hard making him shiver in shock; the wind had been so cold he felt like it had ice in it! And as he stood there shivering, he began to realise that his feet seemed to be frozen! He looked down and saw that they were not just pale like the rest of him, but they almost seemed tinged with blue!

Matsuda turned and ran to his house, not bothering to get food at Misa's breakfast bar. His house was small but functional and pretty. Even though he was only a humble cleaner, like everyone in the village, he lived a good life and was paid well. Everyone was happy in the village under the loving rulership of their god kira.

Slamming the door behind him, he, for the first time in his memory, turned on the heating and sat next to the radiator pulling on some woolly socks.

"_Is madness catching?"_ he wondered, _"has L turned me crazy? That isn't possible, is it?"_

Matsuda stayed in his house until that evening. He didn't want to go outside, he suddenly believed that if he went out there dressed as he was, he would simply be walking into an early grave. Soon the sun began to set and darkness fell. Matsuda frowned and looked over at the clock on his wall. It was only quarter to six. In the summer, didn't nightfall seem to arrive much later? Why was it dark so early, almost as if...as if it were winter?

"_I need to do some investigating myself,"_ he decided. He leapt up and went upstairs into his spacious bedroom. He didn't remember having winter clothes, but somehow his gut was telling him that he did have some. He looked around his room, letting instinct lead him, until he found a batch of winter clothes under his bed in a sealed plastic compression bag. He pulled on a jumper, another pair of socks, some gloves and some jeans, revelling in the warmth. Back downstairs he pulled on some converse, he felt that they would be no good against wet or cold weather, but he couldn't find any sensible boots. Stepping outside (glad that it was dark and no one would see him in this crazy get-up) he began to explore the hamlet. There were things he hadn't really noticed before, such as the lack of birds and wildlife. Where were the summer birds? Where were any of the creatures of summer? He looked back out into the hills where the sheep usually grazed, but he couldn't see any of them now.

"Maybe they are locked away in their pens, but then, shepherds keep their sheep out in the summer, don't they?"

Continuing through the village he saw the old broken down buildings that contained religious relics of a time he couldn't remember. "We didn't always worship Kira?" He gasped, looking across the wrecked temple, "then why don't I remember a time when we worshipped something else? What did my parents worship...who are my parents?"

Matsuda's heart began to beat wildly. He walked quickly, feeling deeply frightened. He shoved his hands in to his pockets, he could feel the cold biting at his fingers even though they were gloved.

He was closer to the woods now, close enough to see L being dragged to the station by Mogi and Aizawa.

"For god's sake, I cannot believe you tried to run again!" Aizawa was yelling at L, who looked cold, haggard and defeated.

Matsuda also noticed that when the men breathed, he could see their breaths coming out of their mouths in wispy smoke, as if they had been smoking something. It was...alarming to see.

Mogi cuffed Lawliet roughly around the head, making the weakened man fall to his knees before they dragged back up and forced him to walk again. Matsuda hid behind a tree in the shadows, intimidated by the show of police brutality.

"Kira is a good god and you will not disturb the order of our village with your crazy theories!"

"It isn't crazy!" argued L with a soft voice that told of a breaking soul_, "_it isn't you're all dying! You're all dying of cold! You need to understand who the enemy really is!"

He was beaten across the head again and then punched in the gut. The men then dragged him to the station muttering angrily the whole time of 'lunatics and freaks in their midst.'

As soon as they were out of sight, Matsuda ran. Soon they would be treating him like that! Maybe he could fake it, keep acting as normal, as if he were warm and comfortable and wasn't bothered by his lack of memories. No of course not, he couldn't do that!

Matsuda stopped running and looked to his left. There was the graveyard. It was huge and, he realised, most of the graves were new. The slabs were clean, un-aged and all had dates rubbed out, if any dates on them at all. The ground was generally disturbed, showing that they had been buried recently.

"_He's right,"_ realised Matsuda, "_L is right. Something sinister is happening here. We're all being killed, slowly, bit by bit."_

He looked over the trees of the forest and up to where the castle of Kira stood.

"_Something is going on, and it's all to do with Kira. That, or I really have gone mad with delusions!"_

When Matsuda woke up the next day he ripped open his curtains and nearly screamed; outside it was snowing heavily. The ground was thick and white. He himself was shivering, his head ached and his nose was bunged up. He phoned in sick for work, telling them that he had serious hay-fever and anon-coming migraine. He then spent the day lounging about his house sipping chicken soup and trying to convince himself that this really was happening and he really wasn't nuts. He tried to find old photographs, but it seemed he had none. He had no old souvenirs from the past. It was as if he and village had just sprung up one day.

"_If I and Lawliet go to the castle, how would we get there? L seems smart, way smarter than me, but he hasn't managed to get even close to it so far." _He stared out of the window, watching the snow falling and feeling depressed. His home was a wreck after he had turned it inside out looking for evidence of a past and now he couldn't even think of how to fix his life. _"Maybe to get to the castle you need to be someone form the village, after all, people are reported as being in the castle. It doesn't matter, today I shall go to L and I will try to get him to come with me."_

xxXXxx

Later that evening, Matsuda found Lawliet in what he now saw wasn't a breakfast bar, but in fact, a pub.

""I have thought about what you said," he said quietly and quickly, for fear others would over hear him and report him to the police, "it keeps playing in my mind over and over and over," Matsuda thought it would be best to explain his new vision to Lawliet after they had left the confines of the village. "I've decided I will go with you."

"What, go where?" L looked at him with a frighteningly blank expression which terrified the youth.

"To the castle, have you forgotten?"

"Oh no one goes in there," said Lawliet intoned, "no one but castle...castle people...you know."

"Yes but, I thought you needed to go in there?" Matsuda felt his face paling, good god, what was happening here, had L really forgotten, was he alone with this curse? "Don't you need to go see Kira?"

"Kira?" repeated Lawliet slowly, his eyes losing that glazed look and instead taking on their previous depth and intelligence. "Yes," he said, looking up at Matsuda, "I remember now... or at least I think I do. I need to get to the castle, no matter what. You will help me?"

"Yes," smiled Matsuda thanking god the whole time that his one ally had remembered, "I am not afraid anymore. I want to see the truth. I want to discover Kira. Together, I think we can make it!"


End file.
